Experiencing the loss of a baby is a heartbreaking and devastating time for parents. Whether the loss happens early in pregnancy, during birth, or after delivery, these parents are often left navigating an overwhelming flood of emotions while trying to make difficult decisions. Here are a few unique ways you can step in to help a bereaved parent in their time of need:
Help with a Stillborn Certificate
For parents facing a stillbirth, a stillborn certificate can offer a small but meaningful way to recognize their baby. Each state has different regulations on obtaining this certificate, but in Utah, there are two forms to be aware of:
- For losses occurring between 16-19 weeks, there is a specific form to fill out.
- For losses occurring at 20 weeks and beyond, another form is required.
To help ease this burden, you can assist in filling out the necessary paperwork with their knowledge and submit the forms on their behalf. All the required Utah forms can be found here.
Flowers for the Funeral
Flowers are a traditional part of funeral arrangements, and helping with this task can lift a weight off the parents. If you plan to offer this type of support, check in with the family first to see if they have any preferences for flower colors or types. In some cases, local florists may donate flowers for infant funerals, which is a great option to explore. Share Parents of Utah is aware of wildspringflowers.com, who generously donates flowers for infant funerals in Utah County.
Another special way to honor the memory of their child is to have the flowers preserved after the funeral, turning them into a beautiful keepsake that parents can cherish for years to come.
Support for the Mother’s Breast Milk
One often overlooked aspect of loss is that mothers who experience late-term loss will still produce breast milk. This can be physically and emotionally painful for grieving mothers. Here’s how you can provide meaningful support:
- For moms who want to donate: Some mothers may want to donate their milk to help other babies. Offer to help coordinate this process by connecting them with milk donation organizations like Give Your Milk. You can assist by picking up the required containers or dropping off the milk at designated sites for them.
- For moms who want to stop their milk production: This can be a difficult decision, but if the mother wants to stop her milk supply, you can offer to buy supplies that help reduce milk production. Some thoughtful options include cabbage cream or herbal teas that are known to decrease supply.
- Keepsake milk jewelry: Another beautiful way to create a lasting memory is to collect a small amount of the mother’s milk and have it turned into keepsake jewelry. This can be a deeply meaningful token of her love for her child. There are many artisans on Etsy who specialize in this kind of jewelry, and some even offer the option to add a lock of the baby’s hair or other personal items to make the piece even more special.
Gift a Personalized Candle
Another unique and heartfelt gesture is gifting the family a personalized candle in memory of their baby. You can have the candle customized with the baby’s name, birth date, or a special message, offering a tangible way for the parents to honor their child during significant dates, such as the baby’s due date, birthday, or Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Share Parents of Utah sells some options here. Lighting the candle can become a meaningful ritual for the parents, giving them a moment of reflection and a way to feel close to their baby during times when their loss feels especially poignant. It’s a small but powerful gesture that brings warmth and light in a time of darkness.
Supporting a parent through pregnancy or infant loss is a delicate and important task. These thoughtful gestures can provide both practical and emotional comfort during one of the most painful times in their lives.