While certain days—like anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays—can intensify the pain of pregnancy and infant loss, grief often lingers quietly in the everyday moments. After the cards have stopped arriving, the meals are no longer dropped off, and the world seems to move on, many bereaved parents are left facing the ongoing reality of loss in the most ordinary places: the grocery store, a walk in the park, or a passing conversation about children.
In the month of May—a season that often symbolizes renewal and life—it can feel particularly jarring to carry grief that doesn’t follow the natural rhythms of spring. This post is for the quiet days, the in-between spaces, and the unspoken sorrow that accompanies life after loss.
1. Understanding the Loneliness of “Normal” Life
Once the initial shock of loss begins to fade, many parents find themselves grappling with a deeper sense of isolation. Others may stop checking in, assuming time has “healed” your grief. But grief, especially the grief of a child, doesn’t expire. Instead, it settles in, becoming part of your daily life—your routines, your thoughts, your identity.
It’s okay if you still feel like the world is moving too fast. It’s okay to not be “over it.” You are not broken—you are grieving.
2. Creating Gentle Structure in Your Days
During intense grief, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. Establishing a soft rhythm in your day—such as a morning walk, a warm drink in the afternoon, or a moment of journaling—can provide comfort and help you feel more grounded. These are not “fixes,” but quiet ways to care for yourself in the midst of pain.
3. Allowing Joy and Sorrow to Coexist
It’s common to feel guilty for laughing, smiling, or enjoying life after loss. But joy does not mean forgetting. It does not mean you’re “moving on.” It means you’re human, and that your heart is still capable of feeling deeply. Letting in moments of peace or beauty can actually deepen your connection to the child you lost—not diminish it.
4. Finding a Way to Express Your Grief
Some find healing in writing, art, or music. Others through conversation or acts of service. There is no “right” outlet—but there is value in expression. It helps process emotions that may otherwise stay trapped inside. Even a single word, painted stone, or short poem can help you give shape to your sorrow.
5. Connecting With Others Who Understand
Grief support doesn’t have to look like a formal group. It can be an Instagram page, a book by a fellow loss parent, a podcast, or a single trusted friend who listens without judgment. Finding voices that reflect your experience can ease the loneliness and remind you: you are not alone.
6. Honoring Your Baby, Quietly and Personally
You don’t need a milestone or public event to honor your child. May is a beautiful time for gentle remembrance: planting a flower, lighting a candle, donating a book to a children’s library, or writing their name in the sand. These private acts of love are meaningful and sacred.
Closing Words
The grief of pregnancy and infant loss doesn’t always roar—it often whispers. It waits in the quiet moments, walks beside you in your routine, and touches the heart when you least expect it. In this season of blooming and growth, know that your grief has a place. So does your love. Your baby’s memory lives in you, always.
You are not forgotten. You are still a parent. And you are allowed to grieve, to remember, and to heal in your own time.