Prenatal care is meant to support you; your health, your baby’s health, and your peace of mind. Yet many parents walk away from prenatal appointments feeling rushed, dismissed, or unsure of what was actually decided. Advocacy during pregnancy isn’t about being confrontational or “difficult.” It’s about being informed, prepared, and empowered to participate actively in your care.
The good news? Advocacy is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and practiced. Below are practical, compassionate ways parents can better advocate for themselves during prenatal care.
1. Remember: You Are the Decision-Maker
One of the most important mindset shifts is recognizing that you are the decision-maker. Your provider brings medical expertise; you bring lived experience, values, intuition, and knowledge of your body. Prenatal care works best when those things meet in collaboration.
If something doesn’t feel right, you are allowed to pause, ask questions, or request alternatives. Consent isn’t just a form, it’s an ongoing conversation.
2. Prepare for Appointments Ahead of Time
Prenatal visits can be short, which makes preparation essential. Before each appointment, jot down:
- Questions or concerns you’ve had since the last visit
- New symptoms (even if they feel “minor”)
- Topics you want more information on
- Bringing a written list helps keep you focused and ensures nothing gets overlooked if the appointment feels rushed.
3. Ask for Explanations. Plain Language Is Okay
Medical language can be confusing and intimidating. If a term, recommendation, or diagnosis isn’t clear, ask for clarification. You can say:
- “Can you explain what that means in everyday terms?”
- “What are the benefits and risks of this option?”
- “Is this a recommendation or a requirement?”
- Understanding why something is suggested gives you the power to make informed choices.
4. Use the BRAIN Framework for Decisions
When faced with a recommendation, especially one that feels unexpected or time-sensitive, the BRAIN framework can help guide the conversation:
- Benefits: What are the benefits of this option?
- Risks: What are the risks?
- Alternatives: Are there other options?
- Intuition: What does my gut say?
- Nothing: What happens if we wait or do nothing right now?
This framework encourages respectful dialogue and ensures your consent is truly informed.
5. Bring Support to Your Appointments
A partner, trusted support person, or doula can be an incredible asset during prenatal care. They can help remember information, ask follow-up questions, and provide emotional grounding, especially during appointments that involve complex decisions.
Having another person present can also subtly shift the dynamic, making it easier to slow down the conversation and feel heard.
6. Know That You Can Say “I Need Time”
Not every decision needs to be made on the spot. Unless there is an urgent medical concern, it is reasonable to ask for time to think, research, or discuss options at home.
Phrases like:
- “Can I take some time to consider this?”
- “I’d like to look into this more before deciding.”
- “Can we revisit this at my next appointment?”
are completely appropriate and often respected.
7. Educate Yourself, But Choose Sources Wisely
Independent education builds confidence. Childbirth education classes, evidence-based books, and reputable organizations can help you understand what’s typical, what’s optional, and where flexibility exists.
Be mindful of information overload, and try to balance research with guidance from professionals you trust. Education should empower, not overwhelm, you.
8. Trust Patterns, Not Just One Moment
Advocacy doesn’t mean expecting perfection. Every provider has off days. But if you consistently feel dismissed, pressured, or unheard, that pattern matters.
You are allowed to switch providers, seek second opinions, or ask for a different approach. Feeling emotionally safe and respected in prenatal care is not a luxury, it’s foundational.
9. Practice Advocacy Language
Advocacy can feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to speaking up in medical settings. Practicing phrases ahead of time can help:
- “I’m not comfortable with that, can we discuss alternatives?”
- “That doesn’t align with my goals for this pregnancy.”
- “I’d like this noted in my chart.”
Clear, calm communication often opens the door to better collaboration.
10. Remember: Advocacy Is a Muscle
Some parents feel confident advocating early on; others grow into it over time. Both are valid. Advocacy is a muscle that strengthens with practice, support, and encouragement.
You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to get it “right.” You just have to remember that your voice matters, and that you deserve care that honors your body, your baby, and your values.
Advocating for yourself during prenatal care isn’t about control, it’s about partnership. When parents are informed, supported, and respected, prenatal care becomes what it’s meant to be: a foundation for healthy families and empowered beginnings.
If you’re looking for additional support as you navigate prenatal care and prepare for birth, working with a birth doula can make a meaningful difference. At Doulas of Utah, our experienced birth doulas support parents in asking informed questions, understanding their options, and feeling confident advocating for themselves throughout pregnancy and birth. To learn more about our birth support services or to schedule a consultation, visit doulasofutah.com and connect with our team today. You deserve to feel supported, heard, and empowered every step of the way.
This blog post is written for Share Parents of Utah by Kylee Alejandre, Founder and CEO of Doulas of Utah.